Are today’s teenagers getting ‘soft’? A child psychologist’s perspective

May 16, 2026 - 15:07

A growing debate among parents and educators asks whether modern teenagers lack resilience compared to previous generations. One child psychologist argues that the real issue is not that teens are soft, but that they have been systematically denied the chance to build toughness.

Children today are often shielded from discomfort. They rarely experience boredom without a screen, failure without a participation trophy, or conflict without an adult mediator. The psychologist points out that resilience is not an inborn trait. It is a skill developed through repeated exposure to manageable adversity.

Kids need opportunities to fail and recover. They need to wait for things they want, negotiate with peers over disagreements, and solve problems without an adult stepping in immediately. When parents remove every obstacle, they inadvertently rob their children of the practice needed to handle life's inevitable setbacks.

The psychologist warns that overprotection creates young adults who crumble under mild stress. They may have high GPAs and packed resumes, but lack the emotional muscle to handle a job rejection or a roommate conflict. The solution is not to be harsh or neglectful, but to step back and let children struggle in safe, age-appropriate ways. Let them lose a game, forget their lunch, or argue with a friend. These small failures are the building blocks of genuine confidence.