Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding a Toddler and a Newborn

4 March 2025

So, you’re nursing your adorable little toddler, and now you’ve got a new bundle of joy in your arms. It’s already a busy experience balancing life with a toddler, and now, the thought of breastfeeding two children at once can feel… overwhelming, right? You may have heard of the term “tandem nursing,” and if you're curious, unsure, or just want to know more, you’re in the right place!

Tandem nursing — breastfeeding both a toddler and a newborn — is not as rare as you might think. In fact, it’s a beautiful, nutritious, and bonding experience for many families. But managing it isn't always easy, and that's okay! So, grab some coffee (or whichever drink keeps you going), and let’s dive into everything you need to know about tandem nursing.

What is Tandem Nursing?

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty details, let's start with the basics. Tandem nursing refers to breastfeeding two children of different ages simultaneously. Usually, it happens when you’re still breastfeeding an older child (somewhere around toddler age) and then give birth to a newborn. Instead of weaning your toddler, you choose to nurse both children.

It sounds pretty straightforward, but tandem nursing comes with its own set of challenges and joys. Some moms might choose it because their toddler isn’t ready to wean just yet, and others because they want to provide that nutritional boost for both children. Whatever your reasons, if you plan to tandem nurse, know that you're not alone!

The Benefits of Tandem Nursing

So, why would someone choose to breastfeed both a toddler and a newborn? Believe it or not, tandem nursing offers a variety of benefits for both you and your children.

1. Helps with Sibling Bonding

Breastfeeding can be a wonderful way for your children to bond with one another. When both your newborn and toddler nurse together, it creates shared calm moments. Your toddler may feel more connected to the new baby, reducing any jealousy or rivalry. Let’s face it, the arrival of a new sibling is a major adjustment for toddlers, so this shared experience can ease the transition.

2. You Can Meet Both Children’s Needs

It’s pretty amazing that breastmilk is tailored for your children. Your newborn will get the colostrum and nutrient-dense milk they need, while your toddler enjoys the continued benefits of breastfeeding, which include emotional security and immune-boosting properties. Even though tandem nursing can feel like a massive workload, it ensures both kids are getting what they need developmentally.

3. Health Benefits for Toddler and Newborn

We all know breastmilk is packed with antibodies, vitamins, and minerals. It’s like a magic potion for newborns, but these benefits don’t just stop when your baby becomes a toddler. Breastfeeding your older child continues to offer immune-boosting benefits, reduces the risk of illness, and provides comfort. Plus, breastfeeding is fantastic for your brain! It stimulates oxytocin production, which is known as the "love hormone," reducing stress and promoting feelings of well-being for both you and your babies.

4. Helps Regulate Milk Supply

If you’ve breastfed before, you know that supply can be a finicky thing. With tandem nursing, there's usually enough demand from both children, which helps your body regulate milk production smoothly. Your toddler’s increased suckling can boost your milk supply in the early days when your newborn might not be nursing that much yet.

Challenges of Tandem Nursing

As fantastic as tandem nursing can be, let’s be real — it’s not without its fair share of challenges. Whether it’s physical exhaustion or emotional drain, it’s important to be aware of some common hurdles you might face.

1. Time & Energy Intensive

You’re already a parent juggling multiple needs — now add the unique demands of breastfeeding two children. Tandem nursing can feel like you’re constantly “on call,” and it may leave you physically and emotionally drained. Nursing two children at once takes time, energy, and patience. Remember to prioritize self-care and lean on your support system when you can.

2. Nipple Sensitivity & Discomfort

Many nursing moms experience nipple sensitivity after giving birth. Now, imagine a newborn and a toddler tugging at you throughout the day. Ouch! Tandem nursing might come with bouts of discomfort or even sore nipples, especially when your older child’s latch is less gentle than your newborn’s.

A good rule of thumb? Work on maintaining proper latching techniques for both children. You may also want to alternate breasts to avoid overloading one side, and nursing simultaneously can be helpful if you’re really feeling the pinch (literally). Some moms also find it more comfortable to stagger nursing sessions for each child if simultaneous feedings don’t work for them.

3. Emotional Complexity

It’s not uncommon to feel a mixture of emotions when tandem nursing. Maybe you wanted to gradually wean your toddler but feel guilt about doing so. Or perhaps, nursing both children feels overwhelming, and there’s a sense of resentment creeping in. These feelings are normal. Balancing your emotional needs while nursing two children can be tricky, so remember to check in with yourself and talk to supportive friends, family members, or even a lactation consultant.

4. Navigating Public Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding one child in public may already make some moms feel self-conscious, and with tandem nursing, public feedings can get a bit more complicated. Nursing both children at the same time outside the house can draw unwanted attention. Some moms choose to nurse one child and bring a snack or distraction for the other in public settings. At the end of the day, do what feels most comfortable for you and your family!

Can I Continue Nursing During Pregnancy?

Yes, absolutely! Many moms actually continue breastfeeding their older child through pregnancy and then pick up tandem nursing after the newborn arrives. However, if you're considering nursing while expecting, here are some things to keep in mind:

- Nipple Sensitivity: Pregnancy hormones may increase nipple sensitivity, making breastfeeding a bit uncomfortable.

- Milk Supply Changes: Some women notice that their milk supply decreases during pregnancy, especially during the second trimester. But don’t worry, once your new baby arrives, your milk supply will likely rebound.

- Different Needs: Remember that your toddler’s nursing needs are primarily for comfort, while your newborn relies entirely on your milk for nourishment. So, if possible, prioritize your newborn during breastfeeding sessions.

How to Tandem Nurse Successfully

You’ve made it this far, so you’re probably wondering how you can make tandem nursing work for your family. Here are some practical tips that might make the experience smoother:

1. Create a Comfortable Setup

With two little ones to nurse, comfort is key. You might find it helpful to set up a cozy nursing station with pillows, water, snacks, and even a good show or book. Your toddler might want to nurse while you're breastfeeding your newborn, so having everything you need within arm’s reach will keep you feeling less frazzled.

2. Establish a Routine

Newborns nurse frequently, but toddlers may only nurse a few times a day. Try to establish a loose routine where your toddler knows when it's their turn. This helps create structure and allows you to set boundaries, which can be helpful for your mental health and energy levels.

3. Involve Your Toddler

Toddlers are naturally curious, and they might feel left out when all of a sudden the new baby is the center of attention. By involving your toddler in the breastfeeding process, you can help alleviate any jealousy. Giving them small tasks, such as grabbing a burp cloth or just talking them through what you're doing, helps them feel included.

4. Be Patient with Yourself

Let’s be honest: tandem nursing is a huge responsibility, and it won't always go perfectly. Some days, you’ll feel like you’ve got it all together, and other days… not so much. That's okay! Be patient with yourself. Every family’s journey is unique, and what matters is that you're trying your best to meet your children’s needs.

When to Stop Tandem Nursing

There’s no hard rule for when to stop tandem nursing. Some moms wean their toddler shortly after the newborn is born, while others keep nursing both children well into toddlerhood. It’s a personal decision, and there are no right or wrong answers.

Signs Your Toddler is Ready to Wean:

- They are nursing for shorter periods.
- They often skip nursing sessions.
- They show more interest in solid foods and other activities.

Whenever you decide to wean, make it a gradual and gentle process for both yourself and your children.

Final Thoughts: Is Tandem Nursing Right for You?

Whether or not tandem nursing is the right choice for your family is a deeply personal decision. Some moms find it empowering and enjoy nourishing both of their children simultaneously, while others find it too overwhelming. And that’s okay!

If tandem nursing is something you’d like to try, getting support from a lactation consultant, family, or online communities can make the journey smoother. Remember, you’re already doing an amazing job, and whether you choose to tandem nurse for a month, a year, or not at all, the bond between you and your children will remain strong.