You Can Have 'The Village'—You Just Have to Pay for It

May 7, 2026 - 19:17

The old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is getting a modern update. For many parents today, that village is no longer made up of free help from nearby grandparents, neighbors, or lifelong friends. Instead, it is something you pay for.

The shift is driven by several factors. Families are more geographically scattered than in past generations. A parent raising a child in a new city may not have relatives within driving distance. At the same time, the demands of work and the rising cost of living mean both parents often need full-time jobs, leaving less time for the informal babysitting swaps and shared meals that once defined community support.

So what does the paid village look like? It includes professional night nannies, postpartum doulas, meal delivery services, and even "mother's helpers" who handle laundry and dishes while a parent tends to a newborn. Some families now budget for a "village coordinator" -- someone who schedules playdates, books pediatrician appointments, and arranges carpools.

The cost adds up quickly. A night nanny can charge $25 to $40 per hour. A postpartum doula might cost $1,500 to $3,000 for a week of overnight support. Even a basic cleaning service runs $100 to $200 per visit. For a middle-class family, recreating the support of an extended family network can easily cost thousands of dollars a month.

This reality has sparked debate about whether parenting has become a luxury good. Critics argue that the burden falls hardest on low-income families, who cannot afford to buy the help they desperately need. Others point out that the paid village is not a replacement for genuine community, but a stopgap for a society that no longer prioritizes family support systems.

For now, many parents are left to decide: pay for the village, or go it alone.