How to Ask for Help as a Burnt-Out Parent

16 June 2025

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet exhausting jobs in the world. Between sleepless nights, endless tantrums, meal planning, school runs, and trying to keep the house (somewhat) in order, it’s easy to feel like you're running on fumes. Sound familiar?

If you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re constantly running a marathon with no finish line, you might be experiencing parental burnout. And guess what? That’s completely normal. The good news? You don’t have to do it all alone. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness—it’s a survival skill.

Let’s talk about why parents hesitate to seek support and how you can ask for help without guilt or shame.

Why Is It So Hard to Ask for Help?

We live in a world that glorifies the "super parent"—the one who handles everything flawlessly without ever needing a break. But here’s the truth: No parent, no matter how capable, can do it all without support.

So why do we struggle to ask for help?

1. Guilt and Shame

Many parents feel guilty admitting they need help, believing it means they aren’t good enough. Society often pushes the idea that parenting should be instinctive and effortless. But spoiler alert: It’s not. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human.

2. Fear of Judgment

"What if people think I can’t handle my kids?" This nagging thought keeps many parents from reaching out. But the truth is, most people understand. In fact, they’ve probably been in your shoes too.

3. Not Wanting to Be a Burden

No one wants to feel like they’re inconveniencing friends or family. But think about it this way—if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want to help a loved one who was struggling? People want to help; they just don’t always know how.

4. The ‘I Should Be Able to Handle This’ Mentality

Many parents believe they should be able to juggle everything on their own. Somewhere along the way, we’ve been conditioned to think that asking for help is a weakness. But in reality, knowing when to ask for support is a strength.

Signs You Need Help

How do you know when you’ve reached the point where you have to ask for help? Here are some red flags:

✅ You feel constantly exhausted, physically and emotionally.
✅ You’re more irritable or short-tempered than usual.
✅ You experience frequent headaches, body aches, or anxiety.
✅ You feel disconnected or detached from your kids or partner.
✅ You’re struggling to find joy in parenting.
✅ You feel overwhelmed, like you’re drowning in responsibilities.

If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to reach out.

Who Can You Ask for Help?

You don’t have to do this alone. Help can come from a variety of sources:

1. Your Partner (If You Have One)

Parenting is a team effort. If you're feeling burnt out, communicate that to your partner and come up with a plan to divide responsibilities more evenly.

2. Family and Close Friends

Your parents, siblings, in-laws, or close friends may be more than willing to babysit for a few hours or help with household tasks. They just need to be asked.

3. Fellow Parents

Chances are, other parents in your circle are also exhausted. Why not set up a babysitting swap? You watch their kids one day, they watch yours another—everyone wins.

4. Professional Support

There’s no shame in hiring a babysitter, house cleaner, or even a parenting coach. Sometimes, investing in help can make a world of difference.

5. Support Groups or Online Communities

There are countless parenting forums, Facebook groups, or local meetups where parents support each other. If you don’t have much in-person support, these can be a great resource.

How to Ask for Help Without Feeling Guilty

So, you know why you need help and who you can ask. But how do you go about actually asking without feeling like a burden?

1. Be Honest About Your Needs

Instead of bottling up your stress until you're ready to explode, be upfront about what you need. Statements like:
👉 "I’m really struggling right now—could you watch the kids for an hour so I can rest?"
👉 "I’m feeling overwhelmed, would you be able to help me meal prep this week?"

People aren’t mind readers. The clearer you are about your needs, the easier it is for others to support you.

2. Start Small

If asking for help makes you uncomfortable, start small. Ask a friend for a five-minute phone call to vent, or request a small favor like grabbing groceries for you while they’re out shopping. Small steps can build your confidence.

3. Accept Help When It’s Offered

How many times has someone said, "Let me know if you need anything," and you just smiled and said, "I’m fine" even when you weren’t? If someone offers help—take it!

4. Remind Yourself That You Deserve Support

You wouldn’t expect a friend to do everything alone, so why hold yourself to that impossible standard? You are not alone, and it’s okay to lean on others.

Overcoming the Emotional Barriers

Even when we know we should ask for help, emotional barriers can hold us back. Here’s how to break through them:

💡 Change Your Mindset – Asking for help isn’t admitting defeat; it’s a strategy for being the best parent you can be.

💡 Set Aside Perfectionism – No one is a perfect parent. Doing your best is more than enough.

💡 Recognize That You Deserve Rest – You’re not just a parent—you’re a person. Taking care of yourself benefits everyone, including your kids.

💡 Practice Saying "Yes" to Support – The next time someone offers help, practice saying "yes" without hesitation.

The Benefits of Accepting Help

Once you start leaning on others for support, you’ll notice a huge difference in your overall well-being. Here’s what you stand to gain:

✅ More patience and energy for your kids
✅ Stronger relationships with friends and family
✅ Less stress and anxiety
✅ A greater sense of balance in your life
✅ More time for the things that make you happy

Plus, when your kids see you accepting help, they learn that it’s okay to ask for support when they need it too.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Parenting is hard—there’s no sugarcoating it. But you don’t have to struggle in silence. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it makes you wise.

If you’re feeling burnt out, take a deep breath and remind yourself: You are not alone. You are doing an amazing job. And you deserve support.

So, what’s one small thing you can ask for help with today?